’"˜˜4,Ç(10);"THE SITUATION:"¢Ž*è˜4,"ASSIST. "té˜4," BUT PEOPLE MAKING A MOCKERY OF THIS JUST DEFEATS THE OBJECT OF";‡ê˜4," MY WORK."Îë˜4,"SO PISS OFF NOW, AND BE BLOODY THANKFUL THAT I'M NOT DEALING";áì˜4," WITH YOU"%íª˜4,"PERSONALLY, OR I'LL SMASH YOUR BASTARD FACE IN! BARBARIAN!"1î H²1¤5>ï˜4,Ç(10)Dð‚†ñ˜4,"UPDATED FOR PRINTERS: 17.7.97 BY BRAISHSOFT’ OF THE UK!"ŒòŽ¢žT²1¤7000:‚­¨—788,0·„Ÿ 4,4ôŽ˜4," PROBLEM’ ANSWERER  T²1¤900:‚; ™"“":—53280,0:—53281,0:—53272,21:™Ç(8)b™" «³ «Ãó «³ «Ã³ «³ «³ «³"‰™ "«Ãó «³ «Ãó «Ã³ «³ «Ã³ «³"»(™ "«Ãó «³«³ «Ãó «Ã³ «³ «Ãó «³ UNCLE'S"â2™ "«Ãó «³«³ « ³ «Ã³ «³ «ÃÃó" <™ "«³«³ «³ «³   :™ "PRINTER?’ Y/N’"m™"IF YES, MAKE SURE PRINTER IS CONFIGURED."€¡PR$:‹PR$²""§4T²1¤300:‚º ™"“":—53280,0:—53281,0:—53272,21:™Ç(8)á™" «³ «Ãó «³ «Ã³ «³ «³ «³" ™ "«Ãó «³ «Ãó «Ã³ «³ A N S W E R E R"@ d™"š HELLO. I'M YOUR AGONY UNCLE. FOR ALL"p n™"5 READERS OF THE žMEDICAL TIMESš, A FREE" x™"COMPUTER PROGRAM THAT CAN ANSWER YOUR"Ê ‚™"PROBLEMS. SO INSTEAD OF WRITING TO ME"ø Œ™"ASKING WHAT TO DO AFTER GETTING CAUGHT"& OILA! AN ANSWER SO3 Ò™"GENUINE, I COULD'VE JUST SAID IT!"Y Ü™"P R E S S A K E Y"l æ¡R$:‹R$²""§230u ë™"“"„ ì— 53272,23Ï ð™"ÂÌÏÏÄÙ ÔÈÉÎÇ ÂÙ ÁÇÏÎÙ ÕÎÃÌÅ. ÐÒÅÓÓ ÁÎÙ  ÂÌÏÏÄÙ ÂÕÔÔÏΠÏÒ Ó×ÉÔÃÈ ÏÒ";ã ú™" ×ÈÁÔÅÖÅÒ ÔÏ"ñ ÿ™"ÂÅÇÉÎ." SON?ƒ CAN YOU SAY WHY?, INPUT THE REASON@™"ÓO THE REASON FOR"H™A$”0™"WAS GIVEN BY THE UNDERLYING REASON, WHICH, BY ALL ACCOUNTS, IS":™C$;­;T²1¤6000:‚¸?V²1¤9ÆDT²1¤90:‚ÐI™"!";×N‚VçXT²1¤2000:‚í]™ORY, YOU'LL GET THE"@™"ANSWER.",J‹PR$²"Y" § 900;h™"ž"hr™ "ÐRESS ÓÈÉÆÔ’ & ÒÅÔÕÒÎ’ TO CARRY ON"~|¡ VV$:‹VV$²""§380™‹ VV$ ² Ç (141)§ ‰ 420£š‰ 380­¤™"“"¼¥— 53272,20ή™"SITUATION:"Ö¸…A$ｋPR$²"Y"§˜4,A$;Ç(10)øAR & A CHOIRBOY RUNNING IN VESTRY WITH NO UNDERWEAR ON',";C ,™" Y'KNOW,"[ -™"STUFF LIKE THAT."‰ 6™"ÁFTER 6 LINES OF STORY, YOU'LL GET THE"· @™"ANSWER. ÐÒÉÎÔÏÕÔ: ÇET A PENCIL & A BIT"æ J™"OF PAPER & COPY DOWN OFF SCREEN, Y'LAZY"ò T™"GIT." FOR"8‹PR$²"Y"§˜4,Ç(10);Ç(10);" COMPUTER ANALYSIS FROM COMMODORE";x‹PR$²"Y"§˜4," DATABASE READS: ’"·‹PR$²"Y"§˜4,Ç(10);"THE REASON FOR THE STATEMENT '";A$;"',"ú‹PR$²"Y"§˜4,"IS FOUND TO BE, AFTER COMPUTER PONDEROMMANDS"0 ´™"SO YOU CAN TELL THE WHOLE SORDID, DIRTY] ¾™"& DOWNRIGHT MUCKY STORY. THE COMPUTER"‹ È™"WORKS IT ALL OUT & VOILA! AN ANSWER SO´ Ò™"GENUINE, I COULD'VE JUST SAID IT!"Ú Ü™"P R E S S A K E Y"í æ¡R$:‹R$²""§230ö ë™"“"˜4," THIS PROGRAM, TO ADVISE AND"™A$*‹PR$²"Y"§ 1000v0™"WAS GIVEN BY THE UNDERLYING REASON, WHICH, BY ALL ACCOUNTS, IS":™C$;;T²1¤6000:‚š?V²1¤9¨DT²1¤90:‚²I™"!";¹N‚VÉXT²1¤2000:‚Ï]™b™"›YOU'RE TAKING THE«³ «Ã³ «³": F™ " «³"` P™" «ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃó"’ Z™"œ L E T T E R A N S W E R E R"Á d™"š HELLO. I'M YOUR AGONY UNCLE. FOR ALL"ñ n™"5 READERS OF THE žMEDICAL TIMESš, A FREE" x™"COMP «Ã³ «³": (™ "«Ãó «³«³ «Ãó «Ã³«³ «Ãó «³ UNCLE'S"a 2™ "«Ãó «³«³ « ³ «Ã³ «³ «ÃÃó" <™ "«³«³ «³ «³  «³ «Ã³ «³"¹ F™ " «³"ß P™" «ÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃó" Z™"œ L E T T E R  –™"BY YOUR WIFE GETTING TOSSED OFF BY THES  ™"TART FROM NO.15 & THAT, JUST BUNG ALL" ª™"THAT SHIT IN HERE. FOLLOW THE COMMANDS"¯ ´™"SO YOU CAN TELL THE WHOLE SORDID, DIRTYÜ ¾™"& DOWNRIGHT MUCKY STORY. THE COMPUTER" È™"WORKS IT ALL OUT & V¡B$:‹B$²""§2605 ™" ÎOW. ÐUT ALL YOUR CRAP IN HERE,BIT BY"a ™"FILTHY BIT. ÊUST 1 LINE ANSWERS LIKE"² "™"'ŸÓAW THE VICAR & A CHOIRBOY RUNNING IN VESTRY WITH NO UNDERWEAR ON',"; ,™" Y'KNOW,"Ú -™"STUFF LIKE THAT."6™"ÁFTER 6 LINES OF STðb™"›ÙOU'RE TAKING THE PISS. ÂLOODY GOOD JOBLl™"YOU DIDN'T SEND THIS TO ÁGONY ÕNCLE FOR{v™"HE HATES ARSEHOLES WASTING HIS TIME LIKE‹€™"‘YOU."œŠ™"ÂASTARD!"Á”™"ÔHAT'S IT! É'M SWITCHING OFF!"ÑžT²1¤7000:‚ܨ—788,0N, FOR WHAT REA‡ B$ Ç‹PR$²"Y"§˜4,B$Ì™ B$Ö… C$6Û‹PR$²"Y"§˜4,C$;Ç(10)AàˆC²Cª1Oê‹C²6§‰530Xï‰450…õƒ WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE REASON?, WHY?¬ýƒ PLEASE EXPLAIN, FOR WHAT REASON?Õƒ CAN YOU SAY WHY?, INPUT THE REASONö™"SO THE REASONh™"ž"rT²300¤0©«.43|™"ÃÏÕÎÔÅÒ: œ‘"T9‚IšT²1¤3000:‚S¤™"“"h®™"×HAT HPPENED?"p¸…A$y‡ B$‚Ì™ B$‹Ö… C$–àˆC²Cª1¤ê‹C²6§‰530­ï‰450Ïõƒ HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?, WHY?öýƒ PLEASE EXPLAIN, FOR WHAT REA , IS THIS: ""‹PR$²"Y"§˜4,"'";C$;"'.";Ç(10);Ç(10)h‹PR$²"Y"§˜4,"ÑAGONY×UNCLE×SAYSÑ IF THIS IS SOME KIND OF BLOODY";–‹PR$²"Y"§˜4," JOKE, IT'S NOT A GOOD ONE."Þ‹PR$²"Y"§˜4,"I GAVE UP 4 GOOD DRINKING HOURS PER DAY TO HELP WITH"; ‹PR$²"Y"§ ì— 53272,23P ð™"ÂÌÏÏÄÙ ÔÈÉÎÇ ÂÙ ÁÇÏÎÙ ÕÎÃÌÅ. ÐÒÅÓÓ ÁÎÙ  ÂÌÏÏÄÙ ÂÕÔÔÏΠÏÒ Ó×ÉÔÃÈ ÏÒ";d ú™" ×ÈÁÔÅÖÅÒ ÔÏ"r ÿ™"ÂÅÇÉÎ."… ¡B$:‹B$²""§260¶ ™" ÎOW. ÐUT ALL YOUR CRAP IN HERE,BIT BY"â ™"FILTHY BIT. ÊUST 1 LINE ANSWERS LIKE"3 "™"'ŸÓAW THE VIC PISS. ÂLOODY GOOD JOB.l™"YOU DIDN'T SEND THIS TO AGONY UNCLE FOR]v™"HE HATES ARSEHOLES WASTING HIS TIME LIKEm€™"‘YOU."’”™"THAT'S IT! I'M SWITCHING OFF!"¢žT²1¤7000:‚­¨—788,0·„Ÿ 4,4ôŽ˜4," PROBLEM’ ANSWERER UTER PROGRAM THAT CAN ANSWER YOUR"K ‚™"PROBLEMS. SO INSTEAD OF WRITING TO ME"y Œ™"ASKING WHAT TO DO AFTER GETTING CAUGHT"§ –™"BY YOUR WIFE GETTING TOSSED OFF BY THEÔ  ™"TART FROM NO.15 & THAT, JUST BUNG ALL" ª™"THAT SHIT IN HERE. FOLLOW THE CAÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿüÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿFUN               ~~ 2A    ÿ‚'S ONLY ANGUISH! ‚FUN WITH PRINTER